Plotbunny Free to Good Home

I am not going to write this, but here it is for anyone else who wants it: Star Wars: The Force Awakens Princess Bride AU.

Finn is Buttercup, beautiful and a bit naive.
Poe is Westley.
Kylo Ren is Count Rugen, with the torture machines in the basement.
General Hux is Prince Humperdinck, who wants a war.
Rey is Inigo Montoya, who is searching for the man who killed her mentor.
(Lor San Tekka is Domingo Montoya, who Kylo Ren killed.)
Chewbacca is Fezzik.
Snoke is the Sicilian.
Han Solo is Miracle Max, mostly so that we can get Leia as his wife.

...And then you get the pining, and Finn realizing that when Poe says 'Buddy' he means 'I love you,' and Rey starts empathizing with Finn after they kidnap him, and Chewbacca roaring, "I am the Dread Pirate Roberts!" in Wookiee, and Leia snarling, "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!" at Han, and Rey demanding her mentor back, you son of a bitch, and eventually Rey and Poe and Finn are going to end up in a threesome because this pairing, you guys, it is eating my life.

Anyway. Free to good home.